Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Labor Fear (Birth - 1st Year)

     You have already delivered one or even two babies and this time you are a little apprehensive about delivery.  You know all of the things that could go wrong.  You know exactly how much pain you are going to be in.  And frankly you just wish they could put you to sleep and you could wake up with the baby on your stomach.  But of course that option is out because of immense mommy guilt that would follow for exposing your newborn to all of those chemicals!  Here are three ways to alleviate some of the fear. 
     If you are nervous and a little scared, talk about it.  Talk about it to your husband or partner.  Talk about with your close girlfriends.  Being able to voice your fears makes them seem smaller and you find out that you are not the only one who might be frightened. 
     Just because one delivery was traumatic doesn't mean that the next one will be also. I had a horrific first delivery.  I chose no medication for pain, but had a lip in my cervix that wouldn't dilate.  I was stuck on a 9 and a half.  So the delivery team asked me not to push for about 30 minutes when I was actually as dilated as I was going to get.  Then when the baby came after the doctor used forceps, I had a fourth degree tear (yes dear ladies, that means as far as the tear will go!).  The baby was blue and they had to give oxygen.  So needless to say, I was on pins and needles when I found out I was pregnant again.  But this time, the labor was simple and I worked through mommy guilt and had a little something to take the edge off of the contractions.   My third was very traumatic again, but the fourth was a piece of cake. 
     Labor is universally part of being a mom.  Every birth has pain whether the mother feels it or not.  And there is always recovery after birth.  This is a part of life.  I think God does this to slow us down long enough to bond with our precious new bundle.  And in time you do forget about the pain and rejoice with the new life that has been added to your family. 
    By talking about your fears, realizing that every labor is different, and by accepting all of motherhood's pains you can begin to work through your fears before the big day of your baby's arrival. 
     What are some other ways that you have dealt with labor fears?

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